


myths of monsters and children

by ladydetective



Series: Roisa Fic Week Summer 2017 [6]
Category: Jane the Virgin
Genre: Children, F/F, Roisa Fic Week Summer 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydetective/pseuds/ladydetective
Summary: It takes Rose a very long time to bond with her daughter, but it happens in a surprising way.





	myths of monsters and children

Rose’s relationship with her daughter wasn’t always easy. At the start, it had been pretty much non-existent.

She had never wanted kids, never intended to have them. She didn’t understand why anyone would – kids were messy and noisy and took more patience than Rose would ever possess.

Luisa, on the other hand – had _always_ wanted one. Eventually, about a year and a half into the time that they’d been living together with Rose as Eileen, she’d tentatively brought up the topic. Rose had known it was coming – though she hadn’t actively spoken of it before, Luisa’s eyes would soften and her mouth would twist into an unbidden smile whenever they encountered a child on their travels – which happened more often than Rose would like, because the little things were _everywhere._ Rose had done what any _sane_ person would do, and refused – but Luisa had kept _pushing_. She demonstrated an odd kind of determination and persistence that Rose had yet to see in her – she _really_ wanted this.

It resulted in Rose giving the idea more consideration than she had erstwhile been inclined to do. Luisa was so serious about this – Rose had the feeling that her continued refusal might cause serious problems for them, down the line. She’d spent enough time away from Luisa – most of it her own fault, she saw that now – and she really didn’t want to lose any more. And besides – she had taken a lot from the other woman, could she really take this as well?

And perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad – plenty of people with maternal instincts similar to Rose’s had kids and did just fine. She could hire nannies, extra help, whatever they’d need – maybe some of her henchmen even had experience with childcare, one never knew. Maybe having a child of their own would stop Luisa from being so interested in meeting Rafael’s, allowing them to finally move on with their lives, away from Miami, away from The Marbella, away from their old problems.

So she’d said yes. She’d been so happy – throughout the entire pregnancy, even in the early days when she’d been too sick to keep much more than crackers and soup down, or towards the end when her usual walk had morphed into more of a waddle – she’d been so relentlessly, unreservedly, unabashedly happy.

It had made Rose kind of excited, too.

But then the baby – a little girl, Mia, after Luisa’s mother – had actually been born, and every worry and reservation she’d had came back to the surface. Luisa had taken to motherhood like a duck to water, immediately falling head over heels for her daughter, but Rose had looked at the red, squirming thing and felt. . . nothing. She’d put on a suitable mask, of course, and appropriately cooed at the cuteness of the baby whenever prompted but in reality it was kind of. . . ugly.

Luisa hadn’t noticed at first, wrapped up in the haze of new motherhood, but even she’d been able to discern that Rose wasn’t exactly comfortable after the first few weeks. She’d been understanding, and tried to help her through it – but even some of the simplest tasks were just beyond Rose’s ability. It frustrated Rose to no end – she was used to being the _best_ at everything – but this baby seemed to defeat her. Mia always sensed her mother’s discomfort, and would cry whenever left with her for any longer than a minute.

It was starting to damage her relationship with Luisa. They hardly got to spend any time together anymore – not alone, anyway. The night-crying was almost incessant, leaving both of them cranky and irritable.

It had been Luisa that suggested that they get away for a few nights, and leave the baby with a trusted sitter. Rose had jumped on the suggestion – time alone together sounded like bliss – until Luisa had revealed where she planned on going. The Marbella was emphatically not Rose’s idea of a refreshing holiday destination, not after all that had happened there – but Luisa wouldn’t let the idea of visiting her nieces and nephew lie. The knowledge that Rafael had visited them only once since Mia had been born seemed to deter her in no way, and Rose wanted to _scream_.

And then she’d been arrested.

It was almost a relief. Those first few nights, tucked up in her bunk, away from the screaming, the shit, the maddening toys, had certainly felt like that – but after a while, she started to miss them.

She missed Luisa first, naturally. Any tension between them, any lingering irritation – of which there had been a lot – had gradually melted away, replaced only with longing. She could have easily eased that longing with another inmate – she’d certainly gotten enough offers – but she’d turned them all down. As gratifying as they had been to her ego, it hadn’t felt right. Not while Luisa was still on the outside.

Given time, she’d even begun to miss the baby. Alright, perhaps _miss_ wasn’t the right word, but she did wonder, upon occasion, how the little thing was doing. Wonder how she was growing, how she was changing. Luisa would bring Mia along for visitation, sometimes. She seemed to look different every time they saw each other – older, a little more like a person rather than a weird red lump.

She’d even held her, once or twice. She could be kind of cute when she wasn’t screaming her head off. Once – and she still felt a little proud of herself for doing it – she’d sensed that the girl was close to tears and had managed to suitably distract her. It made her think that maybe – just maybe – she’d be able to stick it out once she’d gotten out of prison.

Of course, at the end of Rose’s four-year sentence – a result of her incredible lawyer – that confidence had quickly evaporated. It felt like she was back at square one. Mia was older now – less prone to spontaneous fits of tears – but forming a relationship with her was still proving difficult.

Luisa and Mia had fallen into a routine, a routine that did not include Rose. Turns out, irregular visits that a young child could not really remember was not enough to form a lasting relationship.

Worse, Luisa sometimes left Rose alone with Mia whenever she had a meeting that could not be pushed back – which happened fairly regularly, given that she was still running the Marbella.  Watching her wasn’t as difficult as it had been when she was a baby, but it was still not _comfortable_ , for either of them.

Then a breakthrough had happened most unexpectedly. The thing is, Rose had been trying to find something to do with the girl, something that would bring them closer. That had yielded a big, fat _nothing_ , so she’d ended up putting a movie on the TV for Mia to watch while she curled up with a book, trying desperately to calm herself down.

About halfway through, Mia had shuffled down the sofa and plonked her head in Rose’s lap. The girl was recovering from a cold, and Luisa had warned her that she would likely need more affection than usual. Still, it wasn’t something that Rose had been anticipating. Mia pointed at the book in Rose’s hand – just something on mythology that had been lying on the counter for months – and said enquiringly, ‘Storytime?’

Rose was taken aback. ‘You want me to read to you?’

Mia nodded, sucking her thumb. With Luisa, at least, the girl was normally more eloquent, but Rose would hazard a guess that the remnants of the cold were still bugging her.

‘Um,’ she said, not exactly the pinnacle of eloquence herself, ‘Okay, I guess.’

The girl clapped enthusiastically.

And so, they read. Rose told Mia stories of Minotaurs and centaurs, gods and goddesses, heroes and villains. Some of the stories were a little violent – the books weren’t kid’s books, after all – but whatever, at least they were finally doing something together. Mia loved it.

She’d slipped off to sleep a little over an hour later, head still ensconced in Rose’s lap. Luisa returned home not long after, and the smile on her face at the sight of seeing her wife and child in such a position was brighter than Rose had seen in a long time.

Rose’s relationship with her daughter wasn’t easy, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t worth fighting for.


End file.
